We all know who George Lopez is. He’s the unfunny Latino ‘comedian’ hated by nearly every other comic, more known for stealing jokes — oh wait, that’s the other unfunny Latino ‘comedian’ named Carlos Mencia. Hard to keep track of all that lack of talent! But anyways, there’s this other dude named George Lopez, who’s not only funny — he’s in shape. And by ‘in shape’ I don’t mean ‘not as fat as that other unfunny male comic Roseanne Barr’ – I mean like really in shape — muscular and ripped.
His name is George Lopez and he’s an amateur bodybuilder/physique model out of Chicago. More importantly, he’s a damn cool dude who exhibits the physique that most gym-goers aspire to. MuscleWeek sat down with G-Lo recently to learn about what makes this pussy magnet tick.
MW: Wassup George! Tell us a little about yourself. Give the readers a little BIO so we can get familiarized with you.
GL: Well. First thing is I am fucking sexy, Shane (no homo) That’s what people really need to know. LOL!. I’m kidding. Kind of. I love Dubstep music even though I have no idea how to dance to it. I work at a health food store and I’m actually in nursing school. I’m going to be a Murse. I train at XSport Fitness in Chicago and I love being big. I’m 5’7 and 191lbs and I have visible abs. Other than that I am considering training in MMA since I think serious bodybuilding is a joke.
MW: How often do you hear comments about the boring comedian George Lopez? You don’t think he’s terribly funny do you?
GL: All the time. I always get… “Oh! George Lopez. I watch your show at night.” I usually roll my eyes or sometimes I give them a “Fuck yourself” but only if I am feeling nice.
MW: How did you fall into this mess called Bodybuilding? Was it sort of a transgression from sports like so many?
GL: I don’t have a crazy story. Like most kids I was 5′ and weighed 90lbs and wanted to have a 6-Pack because I thought girls would like it then after a short time training I blew myself up to be a monster.
MW: Do you just train to be BIG or do you have aspirations to strut it on stage?
GL: I used to. I thought it would be cool to compete but after a while it wore off. I like being big, I like to train hard and I like looking fly but when I realized what you have to do to be competitive on stage I was like… Ehhh. Forget that shit.
MW: I like hearing that, George. Competition is not for everyone and you’re right. You have to do some serious gambles medically and legally to compete. Do people hassle you about getting in stage?
GL: Yea. Sometimes. Guys I know in the gym are always asking me and always telling me I should. One guy called me a “waste of muscle” and I told him to get fucked because I use my muscle to my advantage. I like to eat and fortunately I have good genetics so I don’t get fat but I don’t want to eat bland food every day to get on stage to win a stupid sword or some t-shirt or something.
MW: How does someone your age grow so much muscle so quick? Good genetics or do you have a “good hook up” ?
GL: LOL! I have crazy genetics. Even when I was little I was still muscular. I remember being like 13 and older guys would ask me if I worked out and how much I benched. It was crazy. People forget. It’s 99% genetics if you ask me. I could probably not diet ever and eat junk food and get on stage and win but I don’t want to.
MW: What are more of your most impressive lifts? I hear you have some pretty crazy lifts and exercises you’re particularly strong in?
GL: Nothing too crazy. I can incline barbell press 315 for 10 reps without a spot. The other day I was squatting 465 for 10 without a belt or knee wraps. I can probably go heavier but why risk injury? I’m already jakked to shit.
MW: What do you like most about bodybuilding?
GL: I could be standing in the dark and still feel like there is a spotlight on me.
MW: Working in a health food store that has a major sports nutrition section, do you ever get delusionites coming in asking you if you shop sells steroids? You ever get customers who think a tub of Cell Teck is going to make them HUGE?
GL: Every single day, man. I am sick of it, too. The other day this douche comes in and returned a half used tub of Cell Teck. I asked him what was wrong with it he said “Oh. It didn’t work.” Then he bought Size On with his refund money and left. Haha. Like that’s going to work. Guys come in all the time thinking after one protein shake they are going to wake up looking like a pro bodybuilder.
MW: George, you’re a young good looking cat (no homo!). You have a killer physique. How often do schmoes and creepy men with a fetish for muscle try to Holla at you in the gym?
GL: All the time. It’s worse on facebook. I get e-mails every single day with guys asking me direct how much I would charge them to let them have sex with me or they ask me if I am gay. I just block them after that. Know what’s crazy is I know a lot of bodybuilders from the gym who take guys like that up on their offers.
MW: You ever get people on facebook privately messaging you about “sponsorship?” How do you handle it?
GL: I usually block them. They first try to sound legit like they have connections to supplement companies and movies or they know people in music who are shooting videos so if I show interest they ask me for naked picture to “show their boss” then I just block them. Hahahaha!
MW: So you never got down with meeting some weirdo in a hotel room some where along Cicero Ave near Midway Airport to give them a strip tease for a few hundred bucks?
GL: Hell no! I know bodybuilders that would, though. It seems like most of them do that stuff. Not me man. I’m all about Vag.
MW: How does at your age and physique have a girlfriend? Aren’t you constantly tempted to plow every single slut with a lower back tattoo in a 30 miles radius?
GL: It’s hard when I am literally walking testosterone but I have a really good girl and been with her 4 years. I usually just jagg off when I feel the urge and go to sleep then I forget about it.
MW: Marry. Fuck. Kill. Ready? Hayley McNeff. Monica Brant. Dana Linn Bailey.
GL: I’d marry Hayley McNeff. I see her in the gym all the time. I want to bounce a quarter off of that ass. I’d fuck Monica and Dana at the same time and wouldn’t kill them afterwards. Okay, fine. I’d kill Dana and keep Monica in my rape dungeon for 10 years.
MW: If you were stuck on a desert island and knew you were going to be there forever and the island had a fully equipped gym. Would you still train?
GL: If it was just me on there? No. Hell no. I’d just jag off on the sand all day long.
MW: You seem to post lots of pictures of yourself on facebook. What’s the strategy behind that? Is that D.L. for some DTF broad to private message you?
GL: Hahaha. No. I never get that from girls just gay guys who want to see me naked or want to give me money to have sex with me. Most girls know I’m taken so they show some respect. I know a lot of hoe’s who don’t care, though. I can’t stand hoe ass bitches, though.
MW: If you had unlimited funds and access to anything. Outline for us what you would use to get even bigger.
GL: If I had unlimited funds I wouldn’t be in the gym. Ever. I’d be living it up. Having lots of money trumps having muscle any day. You think Mark Zuckerberg isn’t having fun somewhere right now? To answer your question, though. I’d do a pro cycle and get crazy huge.
MW: What do you see for the future of men’s bodybuilding? Is it going to be shattered by the introduction of Men’s Physique?
GL: Bodybuilding is dead, man. You know that. It isn’t even cool anymore. Bodybuilding is so 3 years ago. Guys like Jay and Phil are eventually going to be on the stripper pole for their “private sponsors” when their supplement contracts dump them for some MMA guy or Men’s Physique guy. Men’s Physique is where it’s at now. Women want to be with a Men’s Physique guy. Dudes want to be with a bodybuilder. That’s why I don’t want to get bigger. I like being where I am at now.
MW: Pick just one supplement. Just one. What do you use or believe in most?
GL: Protein powder because it’s actually something your body needs and it has calories.
MW: How does someone contact Big George Lopez if they wanted to touch your muscles, fondle your balls, or just jerk it to you from across a seedy motel room. E-mail address? Facebook? Where can you be found? Any shout outs to anyone? Want to plug anything?
GL: They can e-mail me at email@example.com or find me on facebook. I’d like to give a shout out to Hayley McNeff. Holla at me in the gym, baby! Also to you guys at Muscleweek. I read Muscleweek all the time and laugh my ass off. You guys are brutally honest about bodybuilding.