Here is a collection of Planet Fitness’s ‘witty’ commercials. The one with Jerome is actually funny. From there, they just get worse and worse. For you schmoes, see how many of the ‘actors’ you can name. And LBB, let me know if you see your GFF Lauren Powers!
1. PLANET FITNESS COMMERCIAL – BANG BANG POW: Their best commercial and not just because I reserve the Posing Room with Jerome every Monday from 10am to noon. What makes me crack up is Jerome’s baby voice asking about his email address. And yes, that’s really how Jerome talks. He’s just a big teddy bear! Don’t you want to take him home and make him grunt! Or Bang Bang Pow him? Rating:9/10
PLANET FITNESS COMMERCIAL – LIFT THINGS UP AND PUT THEM DOWN: More popular than the Jerome one, this one is clearly taking a jab at Arnold with the bad European accent. Uses repetition to great effect, but this one never actually makes me laugh. Still, they get A LOT right with the hand-cut tank top, fanny pack, gallon jug of Godknowswhat, Gay Otomix booties and the Daisy Dukes. A close second. Rating: 8/10
PLANET FITNESS COMMERCIAL – BUNNY EARS: There’s a HUGE fall-off after the first two. I think they got cheap and figured they could just fire the ad agency and make their own ‘jokes’. This one doesn’t work at all, basically painting a guy with a good build (but not remotely huge or intimidating without the tats and facial hair) as a total moron. The part where he screams did get a chuckle out of me, but this commercial doesn’t have any wit or intelligence. Rating: 4/10
PLANET FITNESS COMMERCIAL – BROTEIN: Man, I didn’t even understand this commercial until I read that Planet Fitness banned personal trainers from their gyms. Apparently, PTs realized that a gym where not a single person knew what they were doing was a perfect place to pick up new clients. PF said ‘Not so fast. We like our members fat and clueless’ and gave the boot to all PTs. But this isn’t even communicated in the commercial. And would most people (even fatties) even consider that a positive? I guess most of us wouldn’t know, as we’ve never been bothered by PTs — probably because we actually know what we’re doing. This commercial is a FAIL, made watchable only because of the copious amount of muscle on the screen! Rating: 3/10
PLANET FITNESS COMMERCIAL – WASHBOARD: At first glance, I thought this was a different take on the Personal Trainer ban. Here, we have a MPD guy showing off his abs to a total stranger. I’ve been in gyms for 25 years and have never seen anyone expose themselves to anything other than a mirror. But regardless, here’s a handsome guy who’s in better shape than 99.99% of this fat nation and we’re supposed to not want to be a part of ‘his planet’ because he’s a narcissist? C’mon, even the ugliest, fattest chicks at Planet Fitness would love to try to find their wet spot between her folds of kangaroo pouch fat and cottage cheese if they saw this stud coming. Rating: 2/10
PLANET FITNESS COMMERCIAL – DOO WOP: Holy loads! I swore (with fingers crossed) that this commercial was going to wind up with all three of these queers in a single shower, doing the soap on a rope trick while fucking each other’s hairy asses silly. And that’s when Muscle Goddess Lauren Powers decided to show up and add a dose of ‘femininity’ to the action. Again, I don’t even remotely understand the point of the commercial. I highly doubt that a female bodybuilder has ever seen the inside of a Planet Fitness and equally doubt that the typical Planet Fitness average Jane has ever seen anything resembling Lauren Powers. This is nothing but a cheap shot at women’s bodybuilding and if you’re gonna hit a woman below the belt, at least check to make sure she has balls (or a penoris). Rating: 1/10